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How To Get Physical With A Girl

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 1/10/11

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: How do you get physical with a girl you have known for a while (like 3 months give or take)?

Answer: Getting physical is something that usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless one or both of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

 

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the main thing that a man can do to handle that is learn how to observe and use gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder that you climb to get to the top. Some guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable as well as the guy.

 

A guy who is uncomfortable in this area should learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on women.

Not every woman will start at the same gradient. Some women will start with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or rapidly from there – from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to intercourse. If a man tries to jump to the “intercourse” stage without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. Conversely, you can lose a girl because youare moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other women won’t even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, talking about sexual topics indirectly (for example commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you as you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you walk, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. As long as you don’t skip too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won’t budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn’t budge. Try talking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.

Also remember that most women won’t go out on a “date” with you unless they are already vaguely ok with the concept of getting physical with you. So you might want to clarify if you are dating or just “hanging out.”

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Newspaper Column, Sex.

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By admin – December 7, 2012

What To Say When You First Meet A Woman

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 1/3/11

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: What should a person say when they first meet? “Are you seeing someone?” I mean not everyone’s single. You may have a great conversion just to find out they’re seeing someone.

Answer: Personally, I never ask a woman about her relationship state. It shows a lack of confidence to do so. However, I read signals and flirt a little to see how they respond. Also just because someone is “seeing” someone doesn’t mean they are in a committed relationship and aren’t interested in meeting you.

Watch the signals that a women gives you in a conversation. Is she just being polite talking to you or is she really interested? If she is in a relationship she will probably talk to you but won’t attempt to create any future with you (see you again). She might be a little standoffish and get even more so when you attempt to flirt.

If a woman is really interested in you she will flirt back and give you little clues that she wants to see you again. She will suggest doing something or meeting or talking or getting together. She will make a point of how she really enjoyed talking to you, at which point, you could suggest that you talk again or some more and ask for her phone number.

If you are observant you can figure out very quickly if a woman is flirting with you or if she is just being polite. Now if she is interested in you, and you show confidence enough to not ask if she is seeing someone, you will usually score a few points with her.

Question: How do you get and keep a girl interested in you when you think you are boring?

Answer: One of the hardest things to learn in life is that no matter what you are like there is always someone who is perfectly compatible with you. Even if you are boring there are women who are perfectly compatible with that. Not every one wants to meet and hook up with the life of the party.

The problem is people who don’t accept themselves for who they are, try to act differently and they are not being real, so they don’t attract anyone. Now if you just accept yourself for who you are and act the way you really are, you will find that there are people who will accept you for who you are. So don’t worry about whether you are boring or not, just be yourself. Sooner or later you will find a girl who will accept you for who you are.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Meet Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 7, 2012

The Three Things You Must Do To Create And Maintain Attraction In A Bar Or Club

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/27/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: I have been meeting the most women in bars lately. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on some topics and examples to bring up so I don’t lose the attraction.

Answer: To keep the attraction of the women I have met in a bar or club, I have never had to be a clever or entertaining conversationalist. What I have had to do is the following three things.

First I have had to be an excellent observer. Second I have had to be interested in the woman I am talking to. And third, I have had to be different from all the other guys she meets that are hitting up on her constantly.

If I do the above three things, I have never failed to create, hold and build the woman’s attraction to me.

First you must observe where the woman is at on the sexual scale of interest. I have talked about this before in various places. It begins with negative sex talk, progresses to positive sex talk, then eye contact, then slight brief touching, then extended touching, then kissing, petting, heavy petting, etc.

If she begins with positive sex talk, you must match that for a while then move it up to slight brief touching to keep her interest. If she matches that or moves it up to extended touching, then you must be prepared to kiss her.

Observing where a woman’s sexual interest level is at and matching that or moving it up a level slowly and gradiently will keep her attracted to you. If she is not into a level and you have gone too fast, move back down to the last one that worked to keep her attraction.

Conversation is easy. Be interested in the woman in front of you. Ask her questions about herself. Most women will enjoy talking about themselves and this will give you plenty of fodder to keep the conversation going. If you show genuine interest in learning about her and who she is, this will create plenty of attraction toward you.

If you get the occasional shy woman who doesn’t talk much, keep your observation in. You don’t have to talk to attract a woman. I have gone to many a club where I just established eye contact, danced a little, touched a little then starting making out with hardly a word being exchanged.

For the real shy ones, who are not progressing to touch on the interest scale, ask the questions that interest you. If they don’t say much in reply, then talk about your answer to the same questions you asked. Open up and do that a few times and the girls will usually feel a little less shy and open up to you.

Finally observe the girl before you approach her, or know her type. Watch and see how other guys approach her, what they talk about and what they do. If she doesn’t respond make note of that and don’t do any of that.

Be the guy who is different from all the other guys.

So when you see ten guys approach a girl and tell her how hot she is and she doesn’t respond to any of them, don’t be that guy. Be the guy who compliments her personality and doesn’t mention her looks.

When you see the girl who sarcastically says, “no” to every guy who approaches her with one of her “I don’t trust you” looks, be the guy who doesn’t approach her but comments within her hearing on what a bunch of idiots these guys in the clubs are and how you hate clubs and the whole pick up game. She will approach you.

In a bar or club, women get hit up on all the time. If you are different from all the other guys who hit up on her you will create and maintain attraction.

If you do the above three things, you won’t have to worry about “topics” and “how to keep the conversation going”.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Attract Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 7, 2012

How To Approach Women

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/20/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: I’m good looking and not lacking in any area. For some reason I’ve just always had a very hard time confronting girls… if I’m lucky enough to get the chance to talk to a very attractive girl I usually chicken out and regret it later.

Answer: Well, I understand your question very well. As a young man, I was in exactly the same position. There is no “magic pill” that will change things overnight. There are a lot of things that you may have to do to change your situation.

I have sent you a complimentary copy of “Dating To Relating – From A to Z” as this is the most complete education that you can get to address your problem.

In the meantime there are two things that you and guys like you can do to raise your confront.

Whenever you feel uncomfortable in any situation, it means that you are approaching this situation on too high a gradient. Rather than run away from the situation. Lower the gradient.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will start building up a “complex” about failing, and soon not try anymore.

If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary – not necessarily impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too.

The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.

When I was a young man I would see a woman I was attracted to and thought I had to tell her how much I liked her straight away. Well that was jumping up too many steps on the ladder. I didn’t even know her.

The first step is a simple “Hi” and a smile. Then keep walking. Get comfortable just saying “Hi” to girls. Then as the next step when they say “Hi” back or ask you a question, answer the question, or make a comment about something that she has her attention on to continue the conversation. For example, if you are in a bookstore and she is looking at a book on cooking, ask her what she thinks of that book. Is it any good?

Conversations develop naturally. Do not push it. Get to know her before you decide that you like her.

Of course, there is a whole lot more to it, but these are good basics to start with.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Approach Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 7, 2012

Online Dating Scams

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/13/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am having a terrible time meeting women on online dating sites. I am forty years old and it seems that most of the good looking women are liars or scam artist. Is there any way to tell up front if a profile is a scam?

Answer: Unfortunately, there are a lot of liars and scam artists who try to take advantage of both men and women on legitimate dating sites. There are, however, ways to spot the scams before you get taken.

Let’s just start with the liars. Now this is a generalization, but women over thirty five start to lie about their age. One of the ways they do that is by posting pictures that may be five or even ten years old.

So if you see a woman who says she is forty but looks like she is twenty-eight, be a little suspicious. What I have found is that most women put up more than one picture on a site and the lead profile picture may be as much as ten years old. But somewhere in the stack of four or five pictures she has on her profile will be one that is current. That way she can’t be accused of being a liar.

So make sure you look at all the pictures if you are interested in a woman. If they only post one picture and it is a little suspicious looking, then ask them for some more pictures when you write to them. (By the way, I have even had nineteen and twenty year olds lie similarly by putting up a pictures of themselves when they were eighteen years old and twenty or thirty pounds lighter.)

Now scam artists are numerous on even the best dating sites. They usually devise some sort of scheme that eventually (not right away) will ask you to send them two or three hundred dollars for something or other. Most of them figure it is easier to get a couple of hundred dollars out of a lot of guys then going for tens of thousands of dollars out of one guy, but there are those cases too.

The profiles and emails you get from these people will usually have a number of things about them that don’t quite add up. Here are some:

Emails from these people are usually templates that are long, tell you how much they like you right away, are not formatted very well (as they use automated software to send the emails to thousands of guys), and don’t use your name. Their responses tend to be non-sequitor. So one of the ways you can catch them is by emailing them something that would require a certain response if someone were to actually read the email.

Ask them their name or what city they live in, and if they ignore your question and go into a long laudatory email be very suspicious. Sometimes they will even pay attention to the first email or two and then start to send you the form letters on the third or subsequent email. So just be on the look out for responses that don’t match up with what you said or asked no matter when it occurs.

Scam profiles can be spotted too as they usually have a very pretty woman who says she is from Colorado or New York or somewhere in the US and that she travels on business. If she mentions West Africa or Africa be very suspicious as a lot of the scams originate in Nigeria over there. Usually these girls will write you an email saying that they are traveling right now and are looking forward to meeting you in about a week when they get back in the US.

Of course right before they are supposed to come back some disaster happens (Their hotel gets robbed – they lose their passport) and they need your help (wire them two or three hundred dollars for a ticket, etc.) so they can get back to the states.

Watch out for so called “Americans” who use British terms – “mum” rather than “mother” is a frequent one.

There are also a lot of Russian scams which result in the girl needing you to wire them a few hundred dollars as the ticket price went up at the last minute for the trip they were paying for to come meet you on a vacation in the US.

There are a million variations on these scams. Just be wary of anyone asking you for money who is “out of the country.”

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Date Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 7, 2012

Three Rules For Writing Online Dating Emails

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 12/6/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you write a good email to a girl on an online dating site? I don’t get many girls emailing me and when I email them I get very little responses – maybe one response out of twenty emails.

Answer: Writing emails is not as complicated as some guys make it seem. Basically, writing emails to meet women follows basic advertising principles. The basic principle I have always followed is the less you write the greater the response. Now the converse of that is the more you write, the more qualified the response.

So when I want to increase my responses I write something short and sweet like “I like your profile. Email me back if you want to talk.” If the girl has any attraction to my profile she will write me back.

Now what you shouldn’t do is write these long, long, emails telling her your life story and what you are looking for. Chances are you will say something that will disqualify you in her mind and she won’t write back.

I only add on to my basic line if I see something in a girl’s profile that makes me want to qualify her. Say I like creative women only. And I don’t want to waste my time meeting women who aren’t creative. My basic might become, “I like your profile. I am looking for a creative type of girl and I thought you might be one. Email me back if you want to talk.”

So rule number one is don’t write long emails if you want to get more responses. Add information only in the areas you want to qualify for.

Rule number two is don’t waste time going back and forth in an email conversation. Email is very deceptive. People don’t reveal who they really are. A lot of girls are just playing around and amusing themselves via the internet. When you talk to someone live, you can hear their voice or see the expression on their face. Both of these give you an idea about a person’s personality and intentions. Email doesn’t. Email can perpetuate lots of lies – like ten year old pictures.

So go for the phone conversation right away. If someone is really serious about meeting you (as opposed to entertaining themselves by playing with you via email) they will prefer a phone conversation too.

So my second email is usually again very short. “Thanks for responding to my email. Can we talk on the phone? I am really not very big on email correspondence.”

Now again I modify this only as needed. If a girl asks me a bunch of questions, I might modify it like this: “Can I answer your questions on the phone. I am a terrible typist and I hate taking two hours to answer questions I can answer verbally in about 5 minutes.

The third rule is I usually don’t give out my phone number. Girls who say “Sure, what’s your phone number?” usually don’t call me back – maybe one out of ten or twenty. When a girl gives me her phone number (which is about 50% to 75% of the women I ask) I then usually end up talking to about 80% of these women.

So this is a key point. When a girl asks for my number, I will say something like “Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable giving out my phone number like this. Too many bad experiences. But if you give me yours I will call you promptly.”

Now this last rule, I do break on a situational basis. If I think a girl is just being conservative and not playing with me, I will say “Sure, my number is XXX-XXXX what’s yours?” If she gives me hers, then it is usually someone who will call me. If I don’t get a response, then it is usually just a girl playing around trying to see how many guys she can get chasing her on the internet.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Newspaper Column, Understanding Women.

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By admin – December 7, 2012

How to Overcome Approach Stress

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am totally stressed out when trying to approach women. I get nervous and usually talk myself out of even approaching a woman. What can I do to get over this stressful feeling?
Answer: The thing that has worked best for myself and other guys I have talked to is to use gradient targets, and plan your interactions.

In other words, don’t go out trying to meet and approach women. Take it at a much lower pace. Fore example, try going to a mall and set as your first target to randomly ask fifty women for the time.

You could even break this down further. Approach fifty older, motherly looking women and ask them for the time. Then approach fifty average looking women and ask them for the time. Then approach fifty hot looking women and ask them for the time.

Keep doing an exercise like this that is not very threatening until you are completely comfortable walking up to women and asking them something.

Next, approach women again and ask them for the time then make a comment about her watch or cell phone or whatever she uses to tell time. Sort of like, “Excuse me do you have the time? … Oh cool looking cell. What service do you have?”

Get the idea?

Get comfortable with these lower gradients where you are not approaching anyone sexually and they can’t reject you for your looks, etc.

Next move it up to more of a conversation. But keep it non-sexual. Go to a mall or a coffee shop and look for some attribute you could talk about. For example, if you are a computer geek, look for someone with an iPad and walk up to them and say, “Excuse me I noticed you are using an iPad. I was thinking of getting one. How do you like it?”

Do this for a while with fifty women or so, then try to keep the conversation going with the next fifty women. When they say they like it or don’t like it. Ask them why? Tell them you hear it doesn’t have any USB ports. “Is that True?” Use your knowledge of computers to keep a conversation going.

If you feel uncomfortable, end it and leave. Notice if the person is getting into the conversation or not. If they seem like they want to talk about it, (they are friendly and give you more than yes and no answers) then keep the conversation going. If they are not friendly and give you yes and no answers, then don’t overstay your welcome. Ask a few questions then leave.

Find a topic and excuse to talk to people that is real to you. If you have sisters that you have to buy presents for at Christmas, walk up to women who are dressed sharp, or who have nice purses, or cool shoes and say something like, “Excuse me but I couldn’t help but notice your cool shoes. I am trying to find a present for my sister for Christmas. Would you mind telling me where you got your shoes?”

Now if you do this sort of thing, you will discover every once in a while you find yourself in a natural conversation without any effort. People will ask you questions too, or lead you into a conversation by saying things like, “How old is your sister?” Or, “Oh how nice, I wish my brother would be as considerate” and the conversation will just sort of flow.

In any case, never force it. Just practice, practice, practice approaching on this low gradient until you feel totally comfortable. Then look for those natural conversations to develop. When you get comfortable with natural conversations then the next and final step will be to flirt a little. “Wow, what pretty eyes you have!” or some such low key comment will do for starters.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 7, 2012

Dating – Should You Pay For A Woman’s Dinner?

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 11/22/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have heard various dating gurus recommend different things when it comes to paying for a woman’s dinner on a date. What is your opinion?
Answer: Well, there really is no right answer to that question. “Paying for dinner” depends on the personalities involved and the situational variables involved. In other words there is no general guiding principle here.

First thing I would say is that it depends on who you are and your own self image.

If you are the gentleman type and consider yourself a gentleman, then you would probably want to pay as that is pretty much who you are, how you see yourself, and how you would want women to see you.

I have always been pretty much a gentleman, and I do it so matter-of-factly and naturally that it has not ever been a problem for me, and no woman has ever thought I was trying to impress her.

Now “acting” like a gentleman when you are not a gentleman and don’t believe in “chivalry”, etc. will probably cause you problems. You won’t like what you are doing and you’ll probably feel taken advantage of by women, etc.

Now the fact that you don‘t like it and are doing it anyway because you feel you have to will probably come across to the women you are with as some sort of negative “vibe” or as if you are trying to impress them.

Now conversely if you are the anti-gentleman and you refuse to pay at all, then you will probably come across as cheap. But if you are cheap, then you will probably feel good about yourself for not having to pay.

So it really boils down to your own personality. And as far as that goes, just be yourself. If you are a gentleman, then pay. If you are the kind of guy who would pay if you had money but you are broke, then tell the girl up front that that is who you are and go Dutch until you strike it rich.

If you are the cheap guy then go Dutch or get her to pay for you and you will be happy.

Now there are women who have different types of personalities and attitudes too. Some women will expect a man to pay, some women won’t care and will be glad to go Dutch and other women would even be happy to pay for you. And of course not all women have integrity so some will pay or go Dutch even though they don’t want to.

So observe the woman you are interacting with. Does she suggest going Dutch, or does she say “ok” unenthusiastically when you bring it up? If you are unsure and want to probe, ask her about her last boyfriend. “What did he do for a living?” If he had a good job or a job way better than hers, then realize he probably paid. If he was poor then she may be use to going Dutch.

But if she complains about how poor or cheap he was, then that might give you an idea of what to expect.

Situational variables also can come into play. If you meet a woman on a blind date and you don’t like her and you don’t have a lot of money, you might ask her to go Dutch. But if you like her you might suddenly feel more gentlemanly.

The bottom line on this topic is that it is not a very important one in a general sense. It is not something you must or must not do. Just be yourself and modify that by observing the woman you are with and what she expects. Some women want a lot more from men than others, but then again some women are worth it.

I have dated women that I would drive two hours every date to be with and enjoy every minute of it. Then there are other women that if they didn’t come over to my house, well it wasn’t worth a fifteen minute drive to see them. That is just how I felt about it.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 7, 2012

How to Handle Manipulative Women

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 11/15/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you handle women who are just trying to use you? I have been going out with this beautiful girl who makes me take her out to all these expensive restaurants, but it has been four dates now and I haven’t even gotten a kiss. I am beginning to feel used.

Answer: First of all, no one can “make” you do anything. If you are taking her out to expensive restaurants it is because you want to. You are not upset because you are taking her out to expensive restaurants, you are upset because you are expecting something in return and you are not getting it.

You think this girl is beautiful and you have probably made a half dozen mistakes. Your first mistake was you probably let her know that you were enraptured by her right away, either verbally or non-verbally by the smile on your face or the look in your eyes.

Unfortunately, it is human nature to take advantage of people when we can. Both men and women do it. Did you ever know a girl that was really attracted to you and offered to do all kinds of nice things for you. Even if you were not attracted to her, what did you do?

Did you blow her away or did you see an opportunity and take advantage of it? Good food? Clean apartment? No matter how good intentioned we are, we all seem to like admiration and having nice things done for us. It is an ego boost.

So your first mistake was to let this girl know how crazy you were about her before you got to know her a little better. Some people are way more manipulative and “taking” than others. It is one thing to let someone know you are slightly attracted to him/her, it is another to let that person know you are “goo-goo, gaa-gaa” over him/her.

Get to know a person before you play your hand. Don’t just judge a woman on her looks. Some of the best looking people in the world can also be some of the cruelest and most manipulative people in the world. Make it known that you judge people on their personality and behavior not just their looks.

Show that you are attracted to her but show equally that you are not stupid and would not get with someone just because she is pretty. Now this was your biggest mistake, but I am sure you made plenty others. You probably talked too much about yourself trying to impress her. You probably focused too much on sexual topics and innuendo. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t listen to what she had to say enough and didn’t create any “non-date” or non-sexual future with her.

When it comes to manipulation, I find there are basically two kinds of women. One kind is just sort of evil and manipulative and want to use men in general. The other isn’t inclined to manipulate, but will when they tell a guy that they are not interested and the guy persists any way.

Manipulative women are easy. I use their manipulative nature against them. By showing vague interest but not showing that I am crazy about her looks, and by giving little clues as to what I like, I can control and direct her manipulative attempts. They will do all kinds of nice things for me in an attempt to “hook” me, so to speak, so they can subsequently manipulate me. The problem for them is I never get “hooked” and they end up doing nice things for me as long as I want. Their manipulative nature backfires on them.

The second kind of women is not really manipulative by nature. They just get tired of telling guys that they are not interested only to have the guy not get it. So to drive home the message, these women will typically “make you pay” until you get the message. So they will ask you to take them to expensive dinners, shows, etc. and they won’t give you that kiss or even any satisfaction until you get so fed up that you don’t want to see them any more.

This may be what is going on in your case.

If you treated these kind of women right in the first place, you won’t find yourself in this scenario. If you want to know how to treat them right, then get a copy of “Dating To Relating From A To Z.”

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 7, 2012

How To Approach Women In Public Places

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 11/08/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, How do you approach attractive women in public places, like the mall or a store or even on the street, without seeming like a sleazy type of guy? I approach women all the time and I usually get a phone number, problem is I don’t get many actual return calls or dates after that.

Answer: Well, I have heard this question many times. There are several ways to approach this situation.

First of all, let’s look at the sleazy approach from the average attractive woman’s point of view. When a guy approaches her, and he is a smooth confident talker, and he compliments her about her looks, she may indeed cough up a phone number. But she will also go home, rethink the situation and come to the conclusion that this guy was only interested in her for her looks. After all that is what he noticed and complimented.

Now a lot of the guru’s have boot camps where they teach you how to do this kind of approach. Make no mistake about it, it works. But so does anything that simply gets you to approach and talk to women. They all work but a small percentage of times. That is why you are not getting a lot of call backs and dates.

I have found if you want to approach a woman solely on her looks and still have a chance at developing a relationship, it is better to be genuine, fresh, un-polished and it is okay to be nervous and not so confident.

When I was shy (which I have been several times in my life) I use to approach women anyway and simply tell them the truth—that I was attracted to them, but was shy, nervous, and totally lacking confidence at the moment. I added, however, that I was determined to overcome these feelings. Hence I was talking to them about it.

To my surprise women loved this. Women are nurturing by their very nature, and practically every woman I approached this way desired to help me overcome my nervousness and fears. Married women would even offer to introduce me to friends and give me advice.

So the point here is if you are going to be direct and express your attraction straight up you don’t have to be polished and smooth-talking about it. Just be honest and communicate your true feelings. Women appreciate honesty and they appreciate men who express their feelings.

Another way it could be communicated, if you are not really shy, just uncomfortable, is for example: “Excuse me…I feel really uncomfortable saying this because I hate guys who do this sort of thing, but I am really attracted to you and I know of no other way of saying it other than just saying it, but I expect you to hit me over the head any minute now and tell me to go away.”

Get the point. Just say whatever it is that you honestly feel.

Now the best approach to this whole situation is to start up a conversation that doesn’t focus on looks and sexual attraction and to create “future” on commonality of interests by the end of the conversation. “Future” is a reason to meet or talk to the woman again that doesn’t involve “sexual attraction” or dating.

For example, in a book store you might strike up a conversation about books and get a girl’s number or email so you can give her the name of a really neat book you have at home that she would be interested in.

In a grocery store, you might strike up a conversation about food that ends in you getting her number or email address so you can send her a really neat recipe you have at home.

In any case, this takes a lot more skill than the other approaches above, and takes a lot of practice to master. The end result is, however, that women will accept your calls, return calls and go out on dates with you once you master this approach as this approach allows women to see you as a regular guy with similar interests rather than a sleazy pick-up-artist.

Obviously this is one of the approaches we teach you at Dating To Relating.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 7, 2012