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Not Cocky And Not Funny – Well Maybe A Little Bit Funny

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 8/16/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am attracted to this girl at the campus store. She is really hot. But she is really cold to me. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, but whenever I say, “Hi,” with a big smile, it doesn’t work. She just gives me a cold stare and says, “How can I help you?” What do I do?

Answer: Well, if you have been following my writing, you would know that my recurring theme is that people have different personalities and different personalities require different approaches.

A “Hi” with a smile might work on most people but it won’t work on all personalities. When I was a young man I did door to door sales. “Hi” with a big smile and a funny joke is how I opened most conversations door to door. It worked like a charm in middle class neighborhoods.

One day, however, they dropped me in an upper middle class neighborhood. And I was shocked. My “Hi” with a big smile got me a lot of “fear” reactions with doors slammed quickly in my face. These were upper middle class very-good-looking women that were doing the door-slamming fear-reaction.

I was a skilled salesman by this time however as I had started door to door sales at eleven years old. I learned quickly to “mimic” people when I didn’t have the right presentation or my presentation or personality wasn’t doing well.

So I quickly changed my strategy with these upper middle class “hot” housewives and I mimicked their style. Instead of a “Hi” and a smile, I said “Hi” and told them the same joke but in a very “dry” deadpan manner with absolutely no smile or expression at all.

Instead of slamming the door in my face, they all laughed at my joke, opened the door and invited me in. You see, to some personalities, and in some environments, a “smiling face” is not to be trusted.

I have even used the same strategy when approaching women in stores or on the street, such as in your situation. For example, there was this woman who was really hot ( like a 9.5/10) that worked at a Louis Vuitton store in the mall. I went by and targeted her for a slow multiple-come-back approach. I initially approached her with a smile and a “Hi” and friendly conversation (which works on most mall store employees).

She talked to me but was very cold and not friendly at all. After about three times, I realized she was not the right personality type for that approach and I changed to my deadpan “humor’ with no smile. I caught her out in front of a “fast food” place eating a cheap burrito or something and said in my best deadpan voice, with no smile and an extremely deadpan expression, “So that’s how you spend your time, huh, eating cheap burritos.”

She laughed and laughed and laughed. And the next time I walked into her store she was all over me with conversation. She would practically tell me her life story when I would go into the store. Best of all, she asked me out, after a couple of more visits. She also changed her attitude. I didn’t have to keep up the deadpan stuff. I was able to go back to being cheerful with a smile.

But not all personalities are like that. Some women you have to keep up the deadpan routine forever. (Like the upper middle class housewives, for instance.) In this case, however, she was one of those really hot women who just didn’t trust “smiling” men who approach them. So she had her defenses up but this wasn’t really her personality. Once I got past that point with the deadpan routine, I could put the smile back on and she could be herself.

Like I said, everyone is different. The way you figure it out is with a lot of experience and a lot of keen observation. And if you are short on experience and observation, then get yourself a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 6, 2012

Guy Gets Girl’s Phone Number In Five Minutes

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 8/9/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I saw a video in which a guy got a girl’s phone number in five minutes. But it is one of the guys you say are “ten percenters”. What do you mean by that?

Answer: Without naming names, a lot of the men’s dating gurus just give you strategies that will work “ten percent” of the time. (And when I say “ten percent” I don’t mean that literally. It could be twenty percent or one percent or thirty percent. What I mean is they don’t get the eighty to ninety percent results that we do.)

I saw a video the other day myself. In it a guy approached a woman, told her how he found her very attractive and asked for her phone number so they could talk some more. He was polite, friendly and he got it.

Now, the problem with this video is you don’t know how many girls he had to approach to find one that this would work on and you don’t know what happened afterwards.

There was even a major dating guru site that just came out with a book on how to approach women in the daytime, on the street, etc. I bought it and read it. It is the same thing as the video – memorized lines and strategies that won’t yield any better results than ten percent.

I have friends who do this kind of stuff all the time for years. They are very skilled at being friendly and all and getting phone numbers. You would think they were successful, but the bottom line is, it is a numbers game for them. They approach ten women, say the same things and get one phone number.

What you don’t see is that afterwards they only get perhaps just a third of the girls who will return their calls. And after that, only another one out of ten will go out with them. Then when they manage to get a date, only one out of ten will go on a second date with them.

Now, as poor a system as this is, for a lonely guy who has nothing going on this is a godsend. If you just keep at it, the numbers are eventually in your favor and you will get dates and perhaps even a girlfriend sooner or later.

At Dating To Relating, we don’t use number games. We teach guys how to communicate and how to recognize differences in personalities. We teach guys how to be situational. We teach guys how to be successful being themselves, not robots.

Guys trained by us do not have to use memorized lines. They can think on their feet and come up with situationally appropriate conversation.

Guys that we train can approach ten women and get eight phone numbers. They can expect eight out of ten of those women to respond to their phone call when they make it. And they can expect eight out of ten of those women to go on dates with them and they can expect eight out of ten of those first dates to go on a second, third, fourth date with them.

Anybody can come up with some smooth memorized talk to get a phone number or date, but turning those situations into relationships takes a little more than memorized lines. That is what we teach you and that is why we call it DATING to RELATING.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Newspaper Column, Pick Up Women.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

How To Move From Casual Intimacy Into A Relationship

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 8/2/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I already have a casual intimate relationship with a woman, I met about two months ago. It is not serious. We get together about once a week. Problem is I am beginning to have some feelings for her and think I might really like her. Can I develop a real relationship with her? Or is it too late? How would I go about doing this?

Answer: Well, this is unusual. Most of the time, guys are trying to figure out how to develop a relationship with a girl they haven’t been intimate with. Yes, it is possible but it does present some unique challenges.

First of all you need to find out where this woman stands. If you guys are having a casual intimate relationship, you need to know if that is something she wants to maintain or if she, like you, is starting to feel different about things.

Now if you go about this the wrong way, you can scare her off. So be careful. A lot of times people who are coming out of a divorce or a break up want an intimate relationship but they don’t want commitment or feeling like they are getting close to someone. They are trying to protect themselves from being hurt by not getting close.

Of course this will heal in time, but the time factor can take one, two or even three years for some people. If you really like someone and feel they are worth the wait, you can seal the deal by not putting any pressure on them during this time, maintaining the casual relationship and just being there for them when they are ready for something else.

Most of the time, these type of things don’t work out because one person is too impatient to wait and puts pressure on the other person who is not ready, so they end up in a spat and a break up.

Now, from your question we know nothing about this woman. She could be a career “no commitment” type or recently divorced or one or two years down the road after a break up.

So you need to ask a lot of questions in a neutral sort of way, so that you do not play your hand in case she is not ready for your feelings. The best way to maintain neutrality is to not originate questions out of the blue, but to play off of her originations.

For example, if she mentions her ex and berates him, you could say, “Sounds like you guys didn’t have a very good relationship.” If she says, “Yeah,” you could come back with something like, “So does that mean you hate all men, or do you think he was just a bully?”

If she says, “No, I don’t hate all men, blah, blah, blah,” then she might be more ready for a relationship then if she says “Yeah.”

The conversations you will have with her will be very situational so I can’t tell you what to exactly say and ask in this short column, but perhaps you get the idea. What you don’t want to ask are questions about you and your relationship with her. That is not neutral and could get you in trouble if she is not ready for anything serious.

So don’t say things like, “How do you feel about our relationship?” or “I am starting to have feelings for you,” etc. until you know if she is ready and can handle this type of topic. If she is not, you just need to keep informed of her general feelings about men and relationships until she is ready to get serious with someone again.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Get A Girlfriend, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

How To Flirt With Women

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/26/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, what is the best way to flirt with women?

Answer: Flirtation is a way to create attraction. But remember, personalities can vary widely on what is considered “attractive.” If you read my articles on how to meet women in bars and clubs you will remember that in order to create attraction, one type of personality required a direct confident communication said directly to them, whereas another required the opposite – an indirect communication said in their presence but aimed at another.

So it can get complicated.

But let’s talk about what kind of flirtation works most of the time in normal everyday situations – not bars and clubs.

1) Smile. Definitely a flirt and usually received as such by most people.

2) Look her in the eyes, without flinching and looking away. (Followed by a “smile” is definitely a top flirt.)

3) Talk to her. Find an obvious excuse to talk to her. “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” Or “Do you know where there is a bookstore around here?” Doesn’t matter what you say. If you do one and two above then approach and talk to her, she will know you are flirting. And it is a better flirt if you just suggest interest. Telling her how hot she is can be an effective flirt for some women, but will blow a lot of really hot women away. Keep it suggestive, you will do better in the long run.

4) Find an excuse to move in close. (Make sure you smell good when you do.) Hold it for a brief moment or two then back away again. Closeness suggests intimacy. Use it sparingly when you can.

5) Find an excuse to touch her lightly now and again. Touch her arm, her elbow, her hand. Don’t be feely, grabby – just a light touch then retreat. Again this is a form of closeness that suggests intimacy.

6) Don’t overstay your welcome. Make your flirts short and sweet. Move in, flirt. Leave and do something else. Come back and flirt again. Leave, come back. Keep this sort of cycle going. This kind of flirtation is best done with people you can see again. This won’t work on a woman walking down the street that you won’t ever see again. That would require a different type of flirt strategy and you would have to get her number or something for it to be successful.

7) Now as you get to know her in the steps above, you can extend your “drop ins” and talk a little. Be real, compliment her personality or her taste in clothes, or non-sexual parts of her body (for example, her eyes or hands). Don’t be blatantly sexual. Most of all listen to what she has to say. Play off of that. Flirtation is all about her – not about you. So don’t start bragging and talking about yourself.

Now if you do these things you will create a little sexual excitement on the part of most women. I would say about sixty percent of women would respond to the above in a positive way in a normal situation. (Not a bar or club or walking down the street.)

What about the other forty percent? Well that requires about fifteen other strategies. Things like “negative sex talk”, ignoring them, being close and ignoring them, paying attention to another woman, being cocky and funny, “positive sex talk”, being super romantic, talking dirty, being shy, etc. Things I talk about elsewhere…..

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Flirt With Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

How To Create Attraction

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/19/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have been dating a woman once a week for three weeks now. She doesn’t seem to really, really, like me. How do I convince her to like me?

Answer: You should never have to convince a woman to like you. If you go about it that way, you are going about it all wrong.

Romance is based on attraction. Relationship attraction is created. You could be literally the most physically ugly guy in the world and still create romantic attraction. Conversely, you could be the most physically handsome guy in the world and blow women away left and right.

Just because a woman’s glance might be attracted to look at you or repulsed by looking at you does not translate into romantic attraction or lack of it.

Now trying to convince someone to like you is “ugly” or repulsive in a non-physical dimension. It is a repulsive or “ugly” personality trait. Convincing is not attractive. It is the opposite of attractive.

Now let’s say you are a very handsome guy with a severe personality deficiency. Well “convincing” might work for you because you got this physical attraction vector going on. But if you are an average guy or an ugly guy, give up. Otherwise, you will have two very unattractive vectors going for you – ugly and “convincing”.

Even if you are an attractive guy, “convincing” might blow it for you. You could be on the fence of attraction and the “convincing” could be the thing that just makes you “ugly.”

So the best way to go about this is to create attraction. To do that you first have to understand the personality you are dealing with, as what is attractive to one person may not be attractive to another.

The only rule we can give you that is consistent across all personality types is to observe motion. “Motion toward” is attraction. “Motion away is repulsion”. Motion that neither approaches nor moves away is neither attracted or repulsed.

So don’t “convince” the girl, “observe” the girl. Be yourself. Do what you normally do. If you do something and she moves a little further away physically, mentally, emotionally, or romantically, then you are not creating attraction.

So if you want to create attraction you are going to have to adjust and not do that anymore, or if that is too much of a compromise, then go find a new girl.

If you do something and she moves a little closer physically, mentally, emotionally, or romantically, then you are creating attraction. Continue doing the same thing and more of it, and more like it and you will be creating attraction.

Example: You give a girl you are dating a small “stuffed animal” present. She doesn’t say thank you. She doesn’t go on and on about how nice it was. She just takes it and says “oh, a stuffed animal” or says thank you very politely with no feeling.

Don’t do that again. It didn’t work and it didn’t create any attraction. On the other hand if you gave the girl the “stuffed animal” present and she got a big smile and gave you a kiss on the cheek, and went on and on about how nice that was, then you did create attraction. Do more of it and more like it.

If at any point this thing that once worked started creating non-attraction motion. Figure out what you did wrong (too many gifts, not stuffed animal, too expensive, etc) and don’t do it again, and go back to what worked.

But whatever you do, don’t ever try to convince someone to like you.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Attract Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

Rules For A Blind Date

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/12/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, what are some good general rules to follow on a blind date?

Answer: Good question.

Let’s talk about physical appearance. Be well groomed, take a shower before your date and smell good. (You don’t have to coat yourself with perfume, but just make sure you don’t stink. Use deodorant, etc.)

Wear clean clothes. You don’t have to be a fashion model but dress in a contemporary manner. If you don’t know what that is, then look at some store mannequins, some magazines, or look at how some guys dress who go out with “hot” girls. This should give you ideas. If you can’t afford to change your wardrobe, dress as contemporaneously as possible and make sure your clothes are clean.

Pay attention to your shoes. Women look at shoes. Make sure they are clean and go with your clothing.

Dress to attract the kind of woman you want. Clothes make a statement. If you are a casual “fun loving” type of guy and you want to attract a similar minded woman, then don’t show up in a business suit. It may make the wrong statement.

On the other hand, if you are looking for one of those high maintenance type of women that want a successful man for their mate. Then that suit, Rolex, and Cole Haan shoes may be in order.

Be confident in your posture, motions, and attitude. Posture and confidence are attractive to most women on a subliminal level. If you don’t know what this is then watch some movies of classic leading men. Look at their posture, motions and how they display confidence. Start mimicking and practicing these types of motions all the time. After a while you will get comfortable with the attitude, motions and good posture.

Be a gentleman. Be courteous. Open the door for her, and do all the usual gentlemanly acts. Make sure that being a gentleman is a statement of who you are, not an attempt to impress her. If you don’t know what that means, then practice being a gentleman all the time – with your mom, sisters, and women friends. If you do it all the time, it will become natural and won’t seem like you are trying to impress her.

Don’t be cheap, pick up the tab. You’re a man. You are supposed to be a provider. It is part of being a gentleman.

Don’t talk about sex or make blatant sexual innuendos. Be seductive and attractive by your motions not by telling her how “hot” she is or how much you want to get with her. Look her in the eyes, smile, move in close to her briefly on occasion. Touch her arm now and again lightly. These are the motions of seduction.

Most of all listen. Listen to what she has to say and ask questions. Show her you really are interested in her – not just her body – and want to get to know her better. Put more attention on listening and asking questions than on bragging and telling her how great you are, and combined with all of the other factors above, you will find that most of your blind dates will want to get together with you again.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Date Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

I Forget Everything I Know When I Approach A Hot Woman

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/5/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I actually do alright with women in general. I have no problem approaching, talking to and securing dates with women. However, there is one exception. When a woman is really gorgeous, I fall to pieces and get real insecure and make lots of mistakes. How can I fix this?

Answer: That’s a good question. One that I believe a lot of guys have in common.

The problem has to do with scarcity. You probably approach and talk to a lot of women from “acceptable” looks to “pretty good looking”. You are comfortable with them and know what to do.

But you just don’t meet that many absolutely gorgeous “Tens” and when you do, you want them so bad that you are afraid of messing up and blowing it so you start acting like the average guy does around any woman.

When something is scarce it becomes valuable. Gold and other “precious” metals for example are relatively scarce so they become valuable. Beachfront homes, another example, are relatively scarce in any city and will usually be more valuable than a similar home in the heart of the city.

It is the same with extremely beautiful women. Women with acceptable looks or a little above average are not that scarce. Pretty women, say an eight on a scale of one to ten, are rare but not that scarce. You meet them now and again. Now a woman that is a nine or ten on this scale, however, you don’t see that kind of woman every day.

When I did my seven hundred dates in one year, I only met about 2 women who were a “nine” and no tens at all. So you see “tens” are scarce. (At least my “tens”. I have been accused by friends of having a “higher” rating system than most guys.)

So what is the handle? The cure? Well, meeting lots of extremely beautiful women is very helpful, as after a while they won’t be that different from any other women. So, going places where extremely beautiful women hang out or working “publics” like models where “tens” may be more frequent or common than the average population will help.

You already know what to do. You just have to get yourself out of your “awestruck” mindset and you will fall into what naturally works for you. Experience with extremely beautiful women will get you there.

When I worked these kinds of extremely beautiful women in bars and clubs, at first I was awestruck, then after I learned to close them 100% of the time I got rather bored with them. Now, I wouldn’t even bother working these kinds of women as having had a lot of experience with them I determined that, in general, they weren’t very good lovers. (I don’t mean that all extremely beautiful women are not good lovers, just the insecure types that you find in bars and clubs.)

Another tactic that will work is paying attention to personality first and looks second. Now it is okay if you qualify a woman on her looks, but after that qualification you have to immediately pay attention to personality and not her looks.

When you realize that there are different personality types and that extremely beautiful women come in all of these different types of personalities, the experience factor will come in to play, as you will likely have more experience with her personality type and won’t be so awestruck by the “scarcity” of her physical beauty.

If you learn how to handle the different personality types (as I teach guys to do in “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” ) then you will know how to handle her personality and be comfortable with her no matter how beautiful she is.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Approach Women, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

I Don’t Like Her Friends

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/28/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, what does it mean when you really don’t like your girlfriend’s friends or she doesn’t like yours, but you both like each other? How do you handle it?

Answer: Good question. I think it is something we have all run into at one time or another. I think it goes back to one of the basics that I teach at Dating To Relating which is personality.

People come in many different personality types. Not all personality types get along with each other. On top of that, people have a social personality type – a personality that they, in a sense, “put on” because they have been educated that that is the way they should act. Then they have the real personality – the one they are despite what they have been trained to be.

Most upsets I see in dating are not because men don’t understand women or women don’t understand men, they are because people don’t understand people. There are more personality differences between a happy man and an angry man, then there are between a happy man and a happy woman. We understand the opposite sex a little better than we think we do.

It is people and personality differences that most of us don’t understand. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging out with relatives or people that we grew up with just because we have known them a long time, not because we like them. Or maybe it is because we work with them, or know them from school. Nonetheless, we call them friends and feel obligated to see them and hang out with them even though we don’t particularly like them.

A real friend is someone who supports you in your life choices and makes you feel good about yourself in general. Anything less than that and the person is an “acquaintance” not a friend.

And of course we have to look out for those few who will “help” you in a time of need, just so they can berate you and make you feel bad about yourself at other times. Who needs that kind of help?

So what happens in relationships is sometimes you end up attracted to someone who hangs out with a bunch of people who are not like the person that you are attracted to. The person that you like probably has an inability to pick good friends.

Or, on the other hand maybe you are the odd one. Maybe that person has good friends and you are the one that they shouldn’t be hanging with. Or maybe you are the one with a bad choice of friends or maybe you have good friends and have made a bad choice in a girlfriend.

There is only one way out of these kinds of situations. You will have to communicate your feelings to your significant other and see where the chips fall. Perhaps they already suspected what you point out but never had the encouragement to disconnect from the “so-called” friends.

Or, maybe their friends are much more important to them than you. Right or wrong, it is better to find out where you stand early on in the relationship, rather than waiting for a “blow-up” a few years down the road.

Communication is the only way out after you are in a mess. Before that, learning to discern personality types when you meet people is the way to avoid these kind of messes in the first place.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Newspaper Column, Understanding Women.

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By admin – December 6, 2012

She Gives You Her Phone Number To Make You Go Away

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/21/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t have trouble approaching women. I am forty years old and have no back off and have never had back off approaching women. However, my closing rate really sucks. On approaches, I usually get at least fifty percent of the women to give me their phone numbers, but after that I usually only get ten percent to return my call and when I go out with women I only get to second base with about one out of twenty. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Well, it doesn’t really sound like women like you very much. It sounds like you get a high percentage of phone numbers because you are probably very aggressive and women are giving you a phone number to make you go away.

Guys who use our system run about eighty to ninety percent on each of the points you bring up: Getting phone numbers should be eighty percent of your approaches; eighty percent of the women you call should return your call, and when you go out you should reach second base with at least eighty percent of the women you go out with.

If you are not getting these kinds of results then yes, you are definitely doing something wrong. In your case, the numbers suggest you are too aggressive. You probably need to listen more and “aggress” less.

A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that just because a woman talks to them, the woman likes them. It is especially easy to make this mistake when you are aggressive.

If you are aggressive and funny, a lot of women will talk to you because you are entertaining. Doesn’t mean they are interested in you as a boyfriend prospect. Other times, women will continue talking to an aggressive guy just to be friendly or nice.

I have seen a lot of aggressive guys monopolize a conversation (in other words, do all or most all of the talking) to the point that they don’t see or listen to what is going on. They take the fact that the girl is still there to be a signal that they are doing okay, when in fact the girl is just being nice or considers you entertaining and that is all.

Frequently these kinds of guys get lots of phone numbers but no return calls or very few dates.

These kinds of guys need to be less aggressive and learn to be a little more mellow. Just say, “Hi” to a girl and then shut up. As you converse with a girl, frequently say things then shut up. Give a girl the chance to say something to keep the conversation going or to walk away if she wants. If she stays and actually “tries” to keep the conversation going – then you know you have someone who is actually interested in you.

When you just non-stop talk, entertain, or say rude things to get a reaction, women will stay and talk or listen to you, but it is not for the reasons you think it is, and it is not because they are interested in you romantically.

So if you want to improve your percentages to the eighty to ninety percent range the first thing you will have to do is shut up and learn to listen and observe. If the woman is making an effort to keep the conversation going, if she stays and talks to you when you are just listening, then perhaps – just perhaps – she might be actually interested in you.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 6, 2012

Does Humor Attract Women?

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/14/10

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of dating gurus advise about using humor to attract women, however, you don’t say much about that. Why is that?

Answer: Well, you are right. I do not focus much of my writing on using humor as a technique to meet women.

The reason is that humor is one of those “ten percent tools” that a lot of the dating gurus recommend. By “ten percent tools”, I mean techniques that if used broadly, only work on a small percentage of women.

The tools that I recommend are technologies that result in an eighty to ninety percent success rate – something that you will never achieve just by being funny.

First of all humor changes with personality type. So what one person considers funny, the next person won’t. Even if you were to come up with a successful “humor” approach, to be successful eighty to ninety percent of the time you would have to change your jokes and/or delivery with the personality types you are approaching.

I have done this in sales, for example. I have based a sales technique on humor and had success, but still I had to change the delivery of the humor to match the personality type I was addressing. When I was doing door-to-door sales as a kid, I found that even socio-economic types have different humor and had to base my approach on that.

Having said that, humor is an obvious advantage for a guy who has the ability to be funny. Just look at some of the dating site profiles of women. Look what they put down as desired in a man. A very large percentage of women will put “funny” or a sense of humor, or some reference to humor.

The problem I see for men (besides matching the right kind of humor for the right personality type) is trying to be funny all the time. Just because a woman says she likes humor or “funny.” Doesn’t mean that it should be the only thing you do — as some of the gurus would have you believe. If you had to do just one thing all the time, “listening” to a woman has humor beat hands down.

But if you can spice up your listening with a few appropriate humorous comments now and again, it certainly won’t hurt and could just make you that special guy she is looking for.

But the reason I don’t focus on training guys to be funny is that it is still just a “ten percent tool” and as such, not worth a lot of attention as a basic strategy. In fact “trying” to be funny all the time will backfire and wreck more approaches than it will help.

When you are funny without having all the other basics in place, women will use you for entertainment and you will be relegated, more often than not, into that “friendship” role that most guys dread. And it will work on a few of a certain personality type – hence your ten percent – and that will be it.

When you listen to women as your primary focus and respond appropriately in both humorous and non-humorous ways, you can break out of that “ten percent” result and achieve the kind of success ratios we strive for – eighty to ninety percent – all the time.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 6, 2012