How To Act Around Attractive Women

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 8/10/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)

Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you act around very attractive women?

Answer: The same way that you act around most women, with one exception, realize that they get guys hitting on them most of the time and your approach would be more successful if you don’t mention how beautiful or good looking they are as the first words out of your mouth.

If you want a good looking woman to remember you or be impressed by you, then you have to be different than the other 10 guys who approach her each and every day of her life. So, “you are so hot” and “you are so beautiful” just don’t quite cut it when it comes to making you different from all the other guys. Have a normal conversation with her as if she weren’t the most beautiful girl in the world. What would you say to her if she was ugly?

Do you have something in common? Do you like something she is doing? Did she say something interesting? Is there something you would like to know about her? These are just normal approaches.

Don’t act like she is any different than anyone else until you learn a little more about her personality. If you can watch her from a distance for a time you may learn enough about her personality to know exactly what to do when you start your approach.

Remember, not everyone has the same personality, and though a lot of good looking women may have social persona that is generally similar, when you break through that they all have different personalities.

Personality can dictate exact opposite approaches. With certain personalities you can be very direct and flirty, with other personalities you have to be the exact opposite – indirect and getting them to flirt with you rather than you flirting with them.

Question: Mr. L. Rx how do you stop guys from messing up your approach or ruining your game?

Answer: Well that is simple, if you have friends who don’t cooperate and help you approach women you are interested in, if you find that they are competitive instead, then have a talk with them and see if you can work out a game plan that leads to both of you helping each other.

If that doesn’t work, then get new friends, or at least hang out with different guys when you are going out to meet women. No use hanging out with guys who are constantly interfering with and messing up your game.

Sometimes when you do that, guys who didn’t respond to the talk, will now ask why you don’t go out with them anymore. Tell them the truth. Say they always mess up your game and you do better without them. You might find them a little more cooperative after the second talk.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

Should I Take Dating Advice From My Women Friends?

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 8/3/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: I am a guy, should I take advice from my women friends regarding dating?

Answer: Very good question. First of all people are individuals, so on an individual basis there is no precluding one sex as being smarter than another.

That being said, I haven’t met a woman yet who completely understood “how to meet” or seduce women. Most women (and most men for that matter) simply tell you what to do from their own perspective. Not many people take into account your personality when giving advice or the personality of the female you are approaching or relating to.

However, I believe there is immense value in talking to women about relationships. The value is in asking them questions that you want to know and getting the answers – not in taking advice from them.

And the real value is in meeting lots of women and talking to them about relationships and asking them questions. When you talk to one hundred women for example, you will probably get an accurate perspective on things. You will find out that when you ask the same question, 50 women answer “A”, 20 women answer “B”, 10 women answer “C”, 10 women answer “D” and the other 10 are all over the place “E” through “Z”.

Now after this you will have a better understanding of women because you will know what “most women think” but you will see that personality produces different answers and attitudes about life. You might decide that you like the personality of the 10 women who answered “D” or the 1 woman out of one hundred who answered “K.”

So my answer is yes, ask your women friends all kinds of questions and get their advice, just don’t take any one friend seriously. Keep meeting and asking women or friends all kinds of questions until you have gotten many, many answers from many, many women.

Question: There are several guys at my school who are really successful with girls. Should I approach these guys and ask for help, or advice, or will that seem too nerdy?

Answer: Well again people are individuals, so not knowing these guys it might be worthwhile to approach some of them and not worthwhile to approach others.

You can also observe these guys without asking permission. Watch them in class or in the halls socializing. See what they do that is successful and what is not. Make sure you look at the type of girls their actions are successful with. They may be successful with a type of girl that you would not be attracted to. What they do with that girl may not work on the type of girl you like.

Get beyond looks. You may be attracted to the way a girl looks, but you will have to live with her personality. Pretty girls have different personalities too. They are not all the same.

If you think some of the guys might be willing to help you, ask them. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But remember, just like the girls in the question above, talk to lots of guys or find a guy who has a personality like you and see what he does. Make sure he is attracted to the same type of girls you are. Just because he has a personality like you doesn’t mean he will be attracted to the same type of girls.

If you talk to lots of guys and observe their personality and the personalities of the girls they approach, you will be able to get maximum value from their advice. Just remember most people tend to talk in generalizations centered around how they see things from their viewpoint.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

Best Place To Meet For A First Date

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/27/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, where is the best place to meet someone for a first date? Do you have to spend money on a first date?

Answer: Well, it depends on whether it is a blind date or someone you know.

As you may know from my book “How I Got 700 Dates In One Year” I have gone on many blind dates. I am so relaxed on a blind date that it is funny. I recommend that you always suggest to meet someone in a public place – like a Starbucks, or restaurant, or park, etc.

I also suggest that you just be who you are. I am not poor so I routinely invite women out to dinner on a blind date. It’s something I have to do anyway, and saves me time. My time is more valuable to me than the cost of dinner. However, that is just who I am now. There were times in my life when I couldn’t afford to do that, and I would invite a women to meet me at a quiet coffee shop. That is OK too.

Even when I meet women at a coffee shop, I will buy them their coffee – because being a gentleman is who I am.

However, do you have to do that? No. By all means, be who you are and establish it quickly. It is one of the ways you qualify your date and see if you get along.

I close 90% of the women I meet on a first date. I know of friends who go out with women and buy them dinner, etc. who close 0% of the women they meet. When I occasionally meet women at a coffee shop, I still close 90% of the women I meet. So, it is not about money, it is just being comfortable in your own skin no matter what you do.

Chose a quiet place where you can talk. It is important to talk and listen on a blind date. Blind dates are usually discovered from the internet or personal ads. Here is a prospect that is interested in a relationship of some sort. This is my prospecting time. This is my time to find out if I am interested in this person and see if we could be compatible. Going to a movie or some place noisy where we couldn’t talk wouldn’t allow me to find out what I need to know.

Now it is different if I am going out on a first date with someone I have already met and qualified. Now I am looking to have fun, romance, or maybe even a seductive time. So I may go to a movie, or hiking, or to flea market or shopping, etc. I am now looking to use the experience as an “attraction” builder. I am looking to be romantic and flirt and have fun. I don’t need to do as much talking as I will be using more body language and other physical subtleties to romance and seduce her.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/20/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you get an ex-girlfriend back?

Answer: Well, it is not easy, but I have done it by using all the relationship technology contained in “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. The real question is “why would you want an ex-girlfriend back”.

Most of the time guys want ex-girlfriends back for mentally unhealthy reasons, like jealousy, make wrong, feeling rejected, etc.

I have seen guys totally unhappy with a woman in a relationship and negotiate a mutually agreeable break up only to get totally jealous when the woman gets a new boyfriend before the guy gets a new girlfriend. Of course the guy then totally decides he made a mistake and wants her back.

This is, of course, crazy. He didn’t like her. That is why he broke up with her the fist time. If he gets her back, he won’t like her again. What he really wants to accomplish (whether he consciously knows it or not) is to get her back so he can dump her and get a girlfriend this time before she does.

There is only one valid reason to get an ex back and that is if the ex was a really good woman, your ideal candidate so to speak, and you blew it by treating her badly. Now if this is the case and you can acknowledge what you did was wrong, and you are willing to change the way you treated her and start treating her right, then getting her back can make sense and be a mentally healthy thing to do.

So how do you do it? Well people are individuals and there is no valid generalization that I can make to tell you what to do to repair a specific messed up situation. However, if you did discover you were not treating her right, it starts with that. Stop treating her badly and start treating her right. Acknowledge that you know what you did was wrong. That will go a long way. If you can acknowledge that you know what you did was wrong without her having to spell it out for you, it will be more believable when you say you are not going to do those things anymore.

When I did it, I was in a situation where we had a mutually agreeable break up. On my own, after a few weeks I examined the relationship and decided I hadn’t given it a fair chance. I decided it was worth my best effort. When I approached her to get back together, I was surprised to learn she had already started dating another guy who had proposed to her and she had accepted and was engaged.

My work was cut out for me. To make a very long story short, using all the relationship technology I give you in “Dating To Relating” it took me three months but by the end of the three months she had broken up with the new guy and was back with me. Within another three months we were engaged.

So can an ex-girlfriend be recovered? You bet they can, but it takes a lot of hard work if they broke up with you or have found a new boyfriend. It is not something you want to consider doing lightly, and especially not something you want to do because you are jealous or want revenge. Most of the time you just need to accept that you were not compatible and just move on. But if you have a rare exception to the rule, then I suggest getting a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” to learn all the details of how to do it.

Mr.L.Rx

Posted in Get A Girlfriend, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 5, 2012

Monogamy

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/13/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have trouble being monogamous. How do you get yourself to accept only one woman?

Answer: Well, personally I have always been a monogamous man when I am in a relationship, such as a marriage or a girlfriend. However, when I am not in a relationship I am not monogamous. So I guess, I can understand a little bit of both sides of the coin. Of the two, however, I prefer monogamy.

The only reason I am not monogamous when I am not in a relationship is because I am still looking. I don’t want to tie myself down to one person while I am in the looking and exploring process, as it would curtail my looking and exploring and my ability to find my next monogamous relationship.

But that is me.

I have observed , however, that when guys can’t be monogamous, it is usually because they have never gotten out of the “looking and exploring” stage. There is still something that they are trying to learn about themselves or women, and hence are on a continual “search”.

If you find yourself on a continual search, you are not ready for a relationship. First thing you ought to do is admit it to yourself, and decide to finish your learning and exploring stage so you can move on someday.

How do you finish your learning and exploring stage – usually by having a lot of experiences. You need to meet and learn about a lot of women. Now the only thing you can do wrong when you are in the exploring stage is “lying”.

Don’t lie to the women that you meet and pretend like you want to have a relationship and that you can be monogamous when you can’t. You will get a lot further and have a lot more success with women if you are just honest and upfront and tell them that you are not looking for a relationship and that you can’t be monogamous.

I have done this several times in my life when I am in between relationships and believe it or not, while some women will reject your cavalier attitude, there are plenty of women who can accept you and will have a non-monogamous relationship with you if you are just honest about it. Sometimes they are looking for the same thing. Sometimes they are not. The key, however, is honesty. Honesty prevents people from getting hurt. It also helps people who are on a “learning” quest to learn and grow.

Sooner or later, if you are just honest and you meet and experience a lot of women you will satisfy whatever it is you have to learn and you will arrive in a space where you are ready and desiring a monogamous relationship. Everyone is different. For some people it could take a year, for others a lifetime. You just have to be willing to experience whatever it is you need to experience to learn and move on. Just remember to always be honest and truthful in your dealings with the opposite sex.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

Approach Women, Attract Women

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 7/6/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: How do you develop inner confidence when trying to approach and attract women?

Answer: Well inner confidence is mostly something that comes from experience. The more women you meet and approach and talk to, the more confident you will be in the process.

However, the question is how does one begin, when one isn’t very confident. Begin by doing the thing that is least threatening or scary to you.

For some guys that might mean going online and approaching women online. So if that is the case start there and develop that skill. When you get good at it you will then start to meet these women in coffee shops and the like.

For other guys it might be placing personal ads that women respond to rather than emailing women on dating sites.

You can also apply gradients. Don’t start off trying to ask women out for dates. Just go to a mall and walk up to pretty women and ask them what time it is? But do this over and over again until you are completely comfortable with it.

Then you might try asking them a more interactive question, like “Where did you get that blouse? I have a sister who really likes that style of dress.” Questions like these will lead to more interaction than a plain old, “What time is it?”

Of course you can always combine the two. Ask her what time it is, and when she pulls out her cell phone or watch make a comment about how cool it is and ask where she got it.

You don’t have to ask women out or even flirt with them to get experience to build confidence or to build your inner game. Just talk to women at whatever level you are comfortable and keep doing it and doing it. Sooner or later you will get comfortable with it and a little flirt will slip out naturally.

Or you can just start practicing flirting. Start with lower gradients. Don’t say how beautiful she is and go on and on about it. That might scare her. Just make a casual comment and say it only once – “Wow, you have really pretty eyes” or “You have really nice complexion”, etc.

The only mistake you can make here is trying to approach this whole area on too steep a gradient and consequently not doing anything out of fear. Find the gradient that isn’t scary and do lots of it, and you will naturally start feeling more relaxed and confident with women, and you will naturally start doing more and more brave things. Slowly you will overcome your fears.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

You Don’t Have To Be Good Looking To Approach Women

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“Dating To Relating For Men” is a weekly dating advice column for men with releases scheduled every Monday.

“Dating To Relating For Men” is created and authored by Mr. L. Rx and released exclusively through AssociatedNews.US. Mr. L. Rx is one of the preeminent men’s dating advice gurus, with the second most popular men’s dating advice site on the internet (DatingToRelating.com) and several popular books such as his dating bible for men – Dating To Relating – From A to Z.

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For more information on You don’t have to be good looking to approach women visit DatingToRelating.com

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN

Dating To Relating For Men – Advice By Mr. L. Rx

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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z.” Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.comand it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions can not be answered.)

Question: I am only 5’2″ (with height increase shoes about 5’5″). Should I not expect the same percent results using your techniques for approaching women as say an average height male?

Answer: We’ve been asked this question many times. It really doesn’t matter what you look like. Some guys find that hard to believe. Nevertheless, it is true. Personality and what you say and do will get you many more girls than your looks.

When I was 18 – 21 I was a very hot looking guy but I couldn’t get a girlfriend no matter how hard I tried. Now, balding, in my fifties I can go out with a different hot 20-30 year old woman every day of the week if I want. Why? Well, now I know what to do and what to say. Then I didn’t.

Does that mean that looks don’t count at all? No, I am not saying that. There are absolutely women who won’t go out with me JUST because I am in my fifties, or just because I am bald.

But for every one of those that I lose there are 10 or 20 that I now gain because I know what to do or say to women. You see for most women, “looks” is not the deal breaker, personality is. So… WHO CARES about looks!

Attraction is a combination of factors. So yes, a good looking guy who did everything right would probably get more women than an average guy who does everything right. However, the variation in this is so great that an average or even ugly guy who does everything right personality wise can end up with more success than a good looking guy who does everything wrong.

I would even venture to say it is more likely an average guy who does everything right can end up with 10 times as much success as a good looking guy who only gets it half right.

No one get’s everyone. In fact, there are many girls who WON’T go out with a guy who is TOO good looking. I went on a website once that gave you statistics on the number of views and clicks that each profile got. The most good-looking girls and guys only got 15% clicks. Average looking people got 5-10% clicks, and even the ugly ones got 1-2% clicks. Astounding. Being good looking is an advantage but still an overwhelming 85% of the people viewing their picture didn’t click on it. It would seem unarguably that most people are looking for something else….

Dating To Relating will teach you how to be attractive to MORE women no matter what you look like. And guess what? Girls who don’t like old men, girls who don’t like bald men, girls who don’t like fat men, girls who don’t like short men, well that has nothing to do with their own looks. You will find hot women who like all or any of the above.

Will your percentage be as high as an average height guy? Well that depends on a number of factors, the least important of which is “how tall you are.”

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

Wanting You Rather Than “Needing A Relationship”

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/22/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: How do I know a woman wants me rather than needing a relationship?

Answer: Meeting and deciding on people is usually a slow process when you don’t “need” a relationship.

So when you meet a girl and she wants to hang with you all the time, or is obsessed with you, it may seem flattering –especially if she says she likes you – but actually these are indicators that she just needs a relationship and is trying to get into one quickly.

When a woman doesn’t “need” a relationship, she will take time to get to know you. She won’t have sex with you right away, and she may be meeting or dating quite a few people.

A lot of guys get threatened by the fact that a woman is dating other men. However, I find it to be actually something I prefer.

I prefer a woman who goes out and meets a whole bunch of guys and a month or two later tells me I am the guy that she likes the best. This means that she likes me and she knows she likes me (and I know she likes me) because she has experienced other men and considers me the best.

When you are possessive with a girl, and she dates only you and gets into a relationship quickly because she is needy, you don’t really know if she likes you or she just needs a relationship. These are the kinds of situations that lead to breakups in a few weeks, months, or years as eventually people find out they are not compatible.

Question: How can I get a girl without becoming her best friend? This is what is happening to me now. No matter how hard I try, I can not get pass this barrier and see other guys sweep her off her feet. This is what always happens to me and relationships are lost because I finally can’t take it anymore.
Answer: Being a woman’s best friend is not a bad thing. Friendship leads to solid and long lasting relationships, and is the cornerstone of a good relationship.

However, you don’t ONLY want to be friends with a woman you are attracted to, you also want to have a romantic relationship with her.

The guy who sweeps her off her feet may have a similar problem to you. If he can’t be “best friends” and can only be romantic, his relationship won’t last that long and he won’t get what he ultimately wants either.

You need a balance in approaching women. You want to be friends but you also have to be romantic and definitely make it known from the very beginning that that is what you are looking for. The ability to go back and forth from being “friends” to being “romantic” will make you more of a complete person in her eyes and very attractive.

So don’t stop being friends with women, just learn how to flirt and spice it up with a little romance now and again.

There is a free eBook on our website entitled “500 Romantic ideas.” You might want to get a copy.

Mr. L. Rx

Posted in Get A Girlfriend, Newspaper Column.

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By admin – December 5, 2012

I Want To Meet Women And Have Fun

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/15/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: I am only 18 and don’t want to really settle down with one person yet, but I do want to meet women and have fun. What do you recommend?

Answer: Well first and foremost, I recommend that you are honest with the women you meet and tell them exactly the kind of relationship you are looking for.

Whether you want a traditional or non-traditional relationship, honesty is always the best policy.

I have personally had a variety of relationships in my life from one night stands to marriage and everything in between. One night stands, although perhaps not as advisable in this time of AIDS as when I did it in the 70s, are only hurtful when one person is playing another. When one person is lying and making it look like they want more than a one-nighter, it can be very hurtful.

When two people agree to have a one night stand because that is what they are both looking for, there is usually no hurt involved. Men seem to think that there are no women that are into one-nighters, but the truth is there are plenty. However, most women can tell when you are just trying to take advantage of them and lying to them. And although you may occasionally find a sucker, more women than not will turn down an offer from an obvious liar.

When you are truthful and just tell someone what you are really looking for you will find that there are usually plenty more women who are willing to co-operate with an honest guy then there are suckers who can be taken in by a liar.

Telling the truth is also very important when seeking a traditional relationship. Many guys lie and pretend like they like certain things to attract a woman. For example, a guy might be a gentleman and open the door for a woman, put his coat around her when she is cold, etc. when in fact it is a lie. He is not a gentleman, and is only doing those things because he wants to get the girl “in a relationship.”

Of course, when he then lands her as a girlfriend, he stops the chivalry after a while, which of course leads to complaints from her a short time later.

You see he was lying – pretending to be someone he really wasn’t and although lies may work in the short frame of things, in the long frame they will always backfire. If a girl is attracted to you because you are a gentleman or chivalrous, you can’t suddenly stop doing those things just because you are now married or she is now your girlfriend.

But the sad truth is when the actions are a “lie”, when a guy really isn’t a gentleman, and really doesn’t want to be chivalrous, he is going to stop doing it sooner or later because he really doesn’t like doing it. Or if he continues doing it anyway, he will build up resentment and start treating the woman badly in other ways.

The good thing about life is there is someone for everyone. You don’t have to pretend to be something you aren’t to attract people. Perhaps you may have to get a little better at learning how to meet people who would be attracted to you, but believe me there is someone who would like you just the way you are.

So when you meet people the best course of action is always tell the truth about yourself and what you are looking for.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

“Experience” Is The Guru Of Meeting Women

DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 6/8/09

Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx

Released by AssociatedNews.US

Question: After reading Dating to Relating – From A to Z, what other steps do you recommend to take?

Answer: After or even during reading Dating To Relating – From A to Z, I recommend you get as much experience as you can meeting women. Try different situations. Go to malls, to clubs, to bookstores, to the park, etc. Go online and email, IM and text women on dating sites.

Talk to as many women as you can. Ask questions and listen to their answers. Ask them what you really want to know.

Set aside time to do nothing but focus on approaching, meeting and talking to women.

Listen, listen, listen.

Observe, observe, observe.

Question: How do you find a good long term relationship?

Answer: Long term relationships require a certain amount of compatibility and common interest. Long term relationships start with understanding yourself and qualifying the people you meet to make sure they would be compatible with your personality.

After you are in a compatible relationship, long term relationships require that you keep creating them. Too many people look at a mate as a possession. They do all kinds of things to get the mate into a relationship, then stop creating.

A good rule to remember is that whatever you did to attract a person into a relationship in the first place, you have to continue doing “even more of” and “better” once you are in a relationship.

Don’t build a relationship on lies. Don’t do things that you don’t want to do just to get someone. That will always doom a relationship to failure because you won’t be able to keep it up forever.

Question: I’m Puerto Rican, I just want to know, does this method work on any kind of woman of any nationality?

Answer: The principals I teach in Dating To Relating – From A to Z are universal. They will work on any woman of any nationality.

I personally have had relationships with women from every continent on earth and from every major culture. The interesting thing I discovered is although there are definitely differences between cultures, personality types are consistent culture to culture. There are more differences within a culture as a result of many personality types then there are between the same personality types from different cultures.

Question: How do you deal with rejection?

Answer: Well, first of all, I don’t set myself up for rejection. I always approach situations by communication on a gradient. And I also qualify women. I look for the type of woman I want and reject 90% of the women I meet as not qualified.

I select a gradient that tells me if a woman is interested without my being totally obvious. For example, when I approach a stranger on the street or in a store, I might say something neutral like “Hi, do you have the time?”

Now if a women is interested she will find a way of keeping the conversation going. If she is not, she can walk away. Since “attraction” was never mentioned or brought up, there is no sense of rejection.

Mr. L. Rx

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By admin – December 5, 2012

« Previous Next »

How To Act Around Attractive Women

Should I Take Dating Advice From My Women Friends?

Best Place To Meet For A First Date

How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back

Monogamy

Approach Women, Attract Women

You Don’t Have To Be Good Looking To Approach Women

Wanting You Rather Than “Needing A Relationship”

I Want To Meet Women And Have Fun

“Experience” Is The Guru Of Meeting Women

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