DATING TO RELATING FOR MEN – WEEKLY COLUMN– 3/2/09
Dating To Relating For Men- Advice By Mr. L. Rx
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Mr. L. Rx is the author of the popular DatingToRelating.com website and the author of the popular book “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Have a question? Send it to Column@DatingToRelating.com and it may be selected for answer in this column. (Sorry all questions cannot be answered.)
Question: Why is it the “nice guys” lose out and the “bad boys” attract women?
Answer: Well, we have all heard that myth, but I don’t think it is necessarily true. At least I don’t think it has anything to do with being a bad boy versus a nice guy.
I think there are other personality vectors involved that perhaps bad boys and nice guys have that are the defining qualities of attraction.
Bad boys tend to be less shy, but at the same time more confident in general than nice guys. I think that it would be these qualities that are attracting a woman not the fact that he is bad.
I personally have never used the “bad boy” approach, I am most always a perfect gentleman. However, I am not an easy catch and women can tell that immediately when talking to me. I am a little aloof, I don’t compliment women when I first meet them or tell them how beautiful they are, and most women don’t have a clue as to whether I am interested in them or just being nice.
That is what sets me apart from a “nice guy”. Women see me as a perfect gentleman but haven’t a clue if I like them or not. Women –especially very attractive women – like that. They are sick and tired of meeting men who fawn all over them.
Girls like guys who are interesting and unique. Attractive girls don’t find guys who tell them how beautiful they are to be unique. But a guy who has a pleasant conversation with them without mentioning a word about their beauty verbally or non-verbally – now that is both interesting and unique to a beautiful girl.
Also keep in mind that women have different personalities. And what is interesting and unique changes from personality to personality. A not-so-good-looking woman may find it totally interesting and unique to be told how pretty she is by a man. A woman who grows up in a society of perfect gentlemen, might very well find a guy who talks a little nasty and naughty to be interesting and unique. A woman who knows nothing but crude and ignorant men, would find a gentlemen to be a rare interesting and unique find.
You see no matter what you are like there is someone for you. But you have to define who that someone would be and then try to maximize how you would meet people like that. So no matter if you are a bad boy or a nice guy, put yourself in a position where you are interesting and unique to the women you meet and you will be successful.
Mr. L. Rx
